Good evening my Cosmic comrades, it’s been quite some time since we last connected. I can sit here and offer you an explanation pertaining to my whereabouts however, the likings of this blog post may evoke something greater than any recollection could provide. More specifically, what I’m referencing are “the gaps,” or spaces in between what we can last recall happening and where we find ourselves now. In yoga, the breath shows up in this form, presenting a powerful moment of pause in between movement or linking one pose to the next. Often times we find ourselves fixated on these gaps or spaces in between but, more so in a way that looks down upon them. Instead, I am here to offer you a countering perspective on the magic that is held within these unforeseen pockets of opportunity.
So, last we spoke, ’twas right before the Full Moon in Sagittarius and we were still in the midst of Gemini Season. As a Scorpio Rising with Pluto also swimming in its home sign of Scorpio in my chart, this past year has been just shy of psychosis to say the least. On a more realistic note, I’ve found myself fumbling through motherhood, identity crisis, revaluating myself as a business owner, losing friends, and then some more all while attempting to hold it all together for a social media post here and there and some blog posts to share my thoughts on these life happenings. I have spoken to all of you to the point of nausea about the intensity that this year has brought to the collective table both astrologically as well as energetically and what I’m here to say is that I’m exhausted!
One of my greatest lessons in this life is learning how to honor “the gaps” in between what has happened and what is coming next. I ran through the first quarter of my life doing a pretty damn good job at ignoring these pauses or spaces in between. Rather, my Ego did a good job of convincing me that I was doing a good job in all of this running. I was so tapped into my masculine, that my poor feminine never stood a damn chance. It wasn’t until I found the physical practice of yoga that I began to honor the yin in my life by literally teaching the practice of yin yoga. Clearly, this wasn’t enough because I’ve spent the last year of my life in so much pause, rest, and slow down that I had started to convince myself at one point that this was the beginning of the end. Almost as if I was dying and in a way, I absolutely was; experiencing one of the most intense Ego deaths and rebirths of this life.
“The Gaps,” as I like to refer to them, are similar to voids in astrology. For instance, when Mama Moon goes void, this often times has many of us questioning our existence or simultaneously losing our shit. That is because without Mama Moon’s divine feminine guidance, we are left to our own human devices which can lead many of us to feeling absolutely lost. For me, this is affirmation that everything truly is divinely connected and that interconnectedness is so innately important to our human existence here in this physical realm. Any who, back to the spaces in between, which often times look like depression or high anxiety or even crazy spirts of happiness. These “gaps” look so different for everyone on an individual level because we all lead such different lives. So, for the person who is constantly sad or depressed, their space in between may actually be a period of joy and happiness. Which leads me to my next aspect of these magical pockets of pause: change.
These slow exhales offer us an opportunity to step outside of the norm, to take a walk on the wild side if you will, and reevaluate who we are and where we are going. It’s so interesting because we are human beings yet most of the time there isn’t a whole lot of truth to that title. We end up over expending our energy and really displaying the nature of humans doing more often than just being. There is a whole lot to be said about this concept in relation to social construction but, that’s a topic for an entirely separate post. For the past few weeks, I have been internally going back and forth within myself making lists of things I “needed” to do. Write a blog post about this, talk about this astrological event, etc. Something that comes so natural to me, such as writing and sharing, something that truly brings me so much joy started to become the bane of my existence. All because I was allowing my Ego to convince me of everything that I “should” be doing, the “responsibility” I had to you all as my loyal readers all while sending messages to myself that honoring what I truly need in this moment was not as important as staying consistent and living up to an unrealistic image.
Hence the aforementioned exhaustion, I think it’s pretty clear now as to where that was coming from. “The gaps” that life offers us are just as important, if not more, as the action that births creation. Think about pregnancy and as the baby grows, the amount of energy it takes to sustain this expanding being becomes greater and greater. The same goes for us as creators of this physical realm, we are reflecting the Universe through our individual lenses and if we never stop to regenerate our energy and charge up for the next creation, then we are essentially setting ourselves up for failure. This analogy of pregnancy in relation to “the gaps” especially hits close to home for me as I reflect back on this past year and look forward to celebrating my baby girl’s first solar return this coming Sunday. So, next time you find yourself leaping from one thing or person or event or project to the next without pausing to hold space for yourself in between, remember that GiGi said that it’s ok to honor the stillness as much as society encourages us to feed the action. You are a divine being made up of all of the elements and it is inherently connected to your purpose to honor all of these elementals equally.